Oktoberfest!!!!!!!!

After being awoken early for breakfast by the tour people it was off to the fest at a spritely 9 am. Started initially as a wedding celebration, Oktoberfest is now the single biggest festival in the world, attracting over 6 million visitors over the three weeks it runs. As one expects, a lot of beer is consumed during this time but the actual statistics are staggering. Sold in 1 litre glasses called Steins



20% of the YEARLY production of beer of the varied beer houses is sold at this event. That is a lot of beer!!



The reason for the early departure was to secure a place on a table in one of the beer halls, with the Hoffbrauhaus tent being the primary goal. You are only served if you have a seat. And so Robin, myself and two other Aussie girls we’d met the night before at the hostel (Melissa and Anne) formed our little drinking crew and found ourselves a seat at the Hoff.



Thankfully we found ourselves in the midst of groups of Germans. Surrounded by Leiderhosen and busty Barvarian dresses we waited until midday at which point the first keg is tapped and the beer begins to flow. Separated from the louts and surrounded by Germans, we quickly felt part of festival.
In no time at all it was midday and the first keg tapped, all to the fanfare of the large brass band. The price was €7.50 per litre but you always gave your waitress a tip so it ended up costing between €8~10. The tip, despite being small, ensured fantastic service for the entire time you were there.



The thirst of the 3 hour wait was slowly subdued by the start of the 2nd Stein. By the end of it, the ritual of standing on your chairs and signing made up words to the German drinking songs followed by the obligatory Prost to everyone in your vicinity seemed like you’d been doing it for years.
Now, referring to the earlier comment regarding not being served unless you had a seat it must be noted that standing on your seat, waving raised glass in the air is considered “having a seat”. Therefore if you’d tipped your waitress, she would often come past and tap your leg to see that all was okay and that your beer didn’t need refilling. At the end of the 3rd Stein, the fact that it was only 5pm, take you were having trouble reading your watch and that there was still another five hours left was enough to interrupt the festivities for some food and put the brakes on the drinking…sort of.
By 6 pm the tent started to resmble “Get_a_room.com” and was therefore time to take a break and jump on the roller-coaster rides. Of course! Great idea Matt. Thankfully I didn’t disgrace myself on any of the hair-raising, stomach turning rides although one of them came a little close for comfort. The guy standing over the ride next door should have been taken for the omen that it was.



After a good couple of hours off the Steins, it was clearly time to get back inside to top up the tank and have one for road. Our new found German friends took us into another tent to spice it up a bit and we slowly consumed the last one before staggering home.

Cesky Krumlov to Münich ‡ arriving alive

Not until four days before the opening of the Münich Beer Festival, known as Oktoberfest, did I decide to throw my hat in the ring and try to get accommodation. As it turned out, I ended up getting accommodation through the same company as Robin had months earlier and so the “Matman & Robin Show”, as we had come to call our travels together, headed off to Oktoberfest. All that was required was getting a shuttle bus from CK to Linz (Austria) and then a train to Münich (Germany). Simple! All we had to do was SURVIVE THE SHUTTLE BUS.
Seven of us piled into the shuttle and launched from CK towards Linz. As the roads became more windy and narrow, and the oncoming traffic (consisting of a large number of tourist buses) increased in frequency, our driver was unperturbed as our cruising speed continued to increase. Thankfully there was enough room between our seats and those in front for us to comfortably assume the brace position. All this whilst exchanging worried glances between each other. It was amazing how quickly “Do you think we are going to survive?” and “I don’t know I hope so!” can be relayed between people just through a facial expression! Despite many attempts, Robin was unable to find that which we didn’t really want to know…our speed. The lurching stomach at each bend, dip and rise was enough to tell us that the speed we were doing was probably not the safest. All she was able to say was that the taco-meter was always in the red. All we could do was pray the brakes still worked!
Eventually we arrived at the train station and, more importantly, in one piece!! As the effects of the adrenaline slowly wore off, it was off to Münich on the relative safety of the train.
The plan to arrive a couple of days before the start of activities was so that we could see some of Münich before our field of vision was limited to the bottom of a Stein (the name for the 1 litre glasses the beer comes in). This we did immediately on arrival. It was only a brief sojourn into the city but enough for us to discover one of the more important things about Münich, namely the lions.
As we wondered the streets we noticed a well dressed local lady walk past and make a pointed effort to touch the nose of a lion statue. And so, we did the same. Not 10 meters further was another lion and another local, this time a man in a suit, doing the same. Hence, we did the same, to that lion and the next two along the way! As we found out later, it was a local tradition to touch the lions for luck and I think Robin and I were wishing the same thing: “Please let me survive Oktoberfest!!”.
The following day, we took a tour to the nearby concentration camp of Dacau. Despite all or any feelings related to the war, a visit to any one of the surviving camps is a must. Unfortunately the tour wasn’t necessarily the best way to absorb the gravity of the place as much of the information provided by the guide was detailed in each of the exhibitions. It was a bit frustrating being rushed through each of the areas , not being able to stop for a moment and gaze at photos or identity cards and reflect. If anything, the tour dehumanised the whole thing. Each German school child must visit one camp during their schooling and we couldn’t help but wonder what they thought of the whole thing.
After the tour, Robin and I bolted into town with one mission in mind: The Hoffbrauhaus, to see where it all began. Arguably the most famous beer hall in Germany, hence the world, the actual significance of it is lost to many who venture inside for a beer in the Hoff. It was, in fact, where the Nazi party was founded! None of this history is obvious anymore of course but before getting swept up into the atmosphere that is the Hoff, we took a quiet moment to reflect on the building’s place in history……Prost!! (German for cheers!) Now, wrapped in the atmosphere we prepared ourselves for tomorrow, the opening of Oktoberfest.

Cesky Krumlov - where?????

When travelling on the underground in Prague, be warned that the escalators move at a speed approaching Warp Factor 1. The inertial momentum of a backpack mean that a firm grip on the handrail, attained after the run-up required to get onto the things in the first place, is essential for safe passage. Also, when disembarking, don’t just stop when you get off. The ability of the fully laden backpacker to stop, in order to avoid collision, is like a speeding semi-trailer approaching a yellow traffic light.
The next lesson is to know that the location of the bus terminal is not marked in any language, including pictures. Finding other English speaking backpackers was our only guidance to the terminal. Secondly, a bus due to arrive at 1300 will be lucky to get there before 1310 and won’t leave until at least 1330. This delay provides ample time to get a reservation for the bus which itself is a pointless exercise. In true Czech style, the locals line up and get their tickets directly from the driver and then grab any seat they choose, with no mind paid towards reservations. Hence people who get onto the bus later in the queue may find themselves without a seat, even if they had a reservation!! Luckily this didn’t occur to us as, after squeezing our bags into the luggage hold (followed by the last 2 bags belonging to a Japanese couple), we found two seats at the very back of the bus. As the Japanese couple boarded, the driver wasted no time in speeding off from the terminal. In fact he hadn’t even taken the time to shut and lock the luggage compartment, a fact quickly noticed by the Japanese couple!! Luckily our luggage hadn’t fallen off and so, after closing the luggage door, the bus took off bound for Cesky Krumlov…….via every pothole between Prague and there!!
Finally, we arrived in CK, a small UNESCO listed town in southern Czech. Had it not been for Robin, I would have never heard of it and therefore never gone. CK is a beautiful, small town with not much to do. After the hectic pace of the last couple of weeks it was exactly what we were after. The main part of the town was nestled in the wide S-bend of a river that ran through the town and my mission to walk every street of the town was quickly completed within the 5 days we ended up staying. It was hard to understand how some people we met felt jaded by the relaxed nature of the town.
Despite the overall “couldn’t be bothered” attitude of hostel and restaurant staff (with the exception of a great guy at the vegetarian restaurant) the people in no way ruined our experience. Our biggest problem was finding out what “Quark” is. Apparently it is a word in English and edible. Anyone know what it is???
During our time there we had two time consuming activities. The first was the ever present need to do washing. Simple maths would suggest that 3 fast washing machines plus 2 slow dryers was not conducive to efficiency. Then again, for a chance to have clean clothes, who gives!! Our other activity was rafting. After travelling up river, by car, for about 30 minutes we were left on the bank with raft, 2 paddles, 2 lifejackets, dry bag and map. The only safety information regarded the location of the pubs along the way! In truth, the lifejackets were largely redundant as we could often touch the bottom with our paddles and the rapids were just areas where the water was channelled. After the required beverages at each of the pubs along the way, our greatest challenge was getting to the next pub to use the toilet. The peace and tranquillity, attained after an initial teething session related to co-ordinated paddling, seeped into the pores and through to the soul. After 6 hours, and not all of it paddling, we arrived back in CK to face the final 3 rapids. Well accustomed to the attraction of rafting to the tourists, the locals were well placed to jeer us hoping that we would fall in. Unfortunately for them, but fortunate us, there was no unplanned swim by either of us as we finally reached our destination.

Prague

As we waited at the Czech border it became quickly apparent that our carriage was the only one without functioning climate control. The slight reprieve from the heat provided by the extended stop gave us the opportunity to meet a nice couple from Sydney heading on roughly the same itinerary. Unfortunately the stop also allowed some new people to board. The mix of the worst B.O. and non-functioning climate control meant that the escape, once we got going again, to the smoking carriage was not just for a nicotine fix.
Eventually we arrived in Prague, often described as one of the most beautiful cities in Europe. The walking tour we did here was nowhere near as good as the one in Berlin but we did manage to learn some interesting stuff nonetheless…if only our way around!!
The mix of Gothic and modern architecture continued to amaze. The market square, with it’s famous Astronomical Clock, was a further jewel to the Prague crown. The main ruby was the Royal Palace and immense double-spired grand cathedral. While touring the grounds and exhibits, I clearly missed my calling as a crossbowman with a pristine target after 5 targets.





By a miracle unbeknownst to us, we managed to catch the changing of the guards. What made the whole spectacle hilarious was the fact that the whole thing was done to the Thunderbirds™ theme song. Unfortunately the lack of visible strings directing the soldiers’ movements took some of the gloss off the event.
Further contributing to the crown jewels was the Charles Bridge. Thankfully the pitiful €15,000 Louis Vutton offered to rent the entire bridge for a private function was rejected and the bridge remained open to the rest of us mere mortals to enjoy. The ornate statues lining the rails (in fact copies of the originals which now sit in museums) hi-lighted the old world mystique of the bridge itself, during both the day and the night. Near the bridge was an outdoor photography exhibition that consisted of a number of aerial shots. All of the photos depicted aspects of nature detrimentally affected by man and included a description and fact per photo. One of the facts that stood out was that it apparently takes about 5 tonnes of natural resources to make one single laptop computer!!
Another photography exhibition for the 2006 World Press Photographer’s group provided a chilling account of the many events that have occurred over the last 12 months. Again the strength of a powerful photograph in depicting a situation reinforced the old saying of a picture telling a thousand words.
The final jewel was the magnificent Baroque church. The Baroque style basically means packing as many frescoes, decorations and statues into a church as possible, and then trying to squeeze a few more!! This, however, gives an overwhelming interior that richly professes the glory of God. All of this housed within an otherwise uninspiring building.
Despite the cluster of the jewels that decorate the crown of Prague, it matters little if the crown itself is made from cheap imitation plastic. By this I mean the people. When eating out, always check every square inch of the menu for a cover charge (which is written in minute letters somewhere after the credits) that will usually give absolutely no indication of what it is charged for and how many times. Also presume that the dishes themselves will in no way resemble the photos used to depict them. Added to the bill, written on scraps of paper in a scrawl even a Santa would be proud of, is a random amount called “service charge”. The Czech’s make even the rudest waiter in a Chinese restaurant (the ruder they are usually means the better the restaurant is) seem pleasant. “Service charge” would be better written as “tourist tax”! This overall attitude pervaded all aspects of social structure. Queues were irrelevant as people ignored them at will and the constant fear of pick-pocketing meant that you spent more time checking your pockets than enjoying the architecture around. It wasn’t paranoia!!
Overall, despite the truly amazing architecture and history, I left Prague with a bad taste in my mouth. I don’t know if it was the people, the food, high expectations or a combination of the three. Nonetheless I would like to return there during winter to see if I can find the Prague I was hoping for.

Berlin

Berlin, derived from some old language for bog since that is what it was originally, is the capital of Germany and was the epitome of the cold war and iron curtain. Cemented in history from the time of the Nazi’s, but equally prominent before then as well, it is often described as one of the most exciting places in Europe. This is due to the continually evolving nature of the city as it takes it time amalgamating the old Eastern and Western parts.
After arriving at the Berlin Hauptbahnhof, main station, we were quickly overwhelmed by the sheer size of the 6 story structure. After struggling to find a way out, we eventually realised that we needed to catch a different train and in fact, not try to get out at all! Eventually we settled into our hostel in old East Berlin and quickly realised an important thing…..Berlin is very cheap!! As had quickly become our habit, we dumped our bags and get out to have a look around. with run down buildings, graffiti scrawled on every space spot of wall and multiple funky little bars and cafes it quickly became apparent that Berlin was going to be a wicked stop.
The best way to orientate yourself to Berlin is to take a walking tour. Led by our NZ guide, we learnt more than we could about the history of Berlin then we could have by ourselves (save of course spending the next months sitting in a library!!). The tour, run by “New Berlin”, was free and worked on a tip basis. After a thoroughly enjoyable 3.5 hour tour, we almost felt cheap leaving only €15 for the two of us. I would strongly recommend these guys should anyone venture towards Berlin.
The few days we had in Berlin was to be nowhere near enough. After the walking tour we headed to the “Checkpoint Charlie” museum. This museum, which detailed the erection of the wall and the many and varied escapes (successful and not) that occurred during the time of the division, was one of the most randomly arranged museums on Earth. It felt like you were walking in the Tardis as you continued to find yet another room cramped wall to ceiling with photos and information. None of the information really seemed to follow any logical order and the amount of it almost became oppressing. Checkpoint Charlie itself the point of greatest tension during the cold war as American and Russian tanks faced off over the gate between East and West Berlin over an incident involving an American army general and an opera. The reconstructed border-post, complete with people dressed in mock American and Russian uniforms (who are in fact porn stars….no kidding) provides a reminder of times gone by.
Also on the agenda was the Jewish museum. After passing through the metal detectors we ventured in to learn about the history of the Jewish people in Europe. A temporary exhibition related to Sigmund Freud (he really was obsessed with sex with his mother) was an interesting aside from the rest of the museum which of course included details of the persecution under the Nazi regime.
The “Topography of Terror” was a free outdoor exhibition detailing the Nürembourg trials (the Nazi post-war war crimes trials) as well as the history of the SS and Gestapo. The most chilling aspect was a quoted excerpt from the trial of Herman Goering, a prominent Nazi party member, who said something to the effect of:
“Yes, we believed it lawful to detail people, with or without proof, on the suspicion that they may or may not be thinking of perpetrating a crime against the state in the future”. I thought the world was supposed to learn from it’s mistakes?!??!
Robin and I also managed a trip to nearby Potsdam on the Southwest side of Berlin. The hi-light of Potsdam was a series of summer palaces of royalty gone by, nestled in an immense parkland. The grand magnificence of some of the palaces was overwhelming and it included a room decorated entirely of sea shells! Whilst in one room, Robin took the time to take a photo of a bathroom, an act (i.e. photography) that was strictly forbidden. To ensure that this did not occur again, in something resembling Chinese Whispers, each guard relayed to the next the information about the dodgy blonde girl taking photos. This of course freed me up to shoot a few shots from the hip, with the shutter noise covered by the ever reliable and always conspicuous cough!! They were watching the wrong person since Robin didn’t actually know at the time that she was doing the wrong thing!! As you can see, not all of the photos worked but the “Mission Impossible” nature of clandestine photography was funny.



Our last night in Berlin was spent doing another of the essential activities in Berlin…an organised pub crawl. Of the many bars and clubs visited that night, the coolest was the bar inside a squat. The building, through some loop hole, is rented for €1 per month and inside is about 5 bars, with different music blaring as well as a massive beer garden, covered in sand, and complete with caravan bars and a helicopter shell!! The walls were covered with awesome graffiti and there were regularly metal work statues scattered around as well.
Nursing slight hangovers, and on very little sleep, we crawled out of the hostel and bordered the train for Prague having not done half of what we wanted.

amsterdam, finally

Clearly excited about finally reaching Amsterdam, the entire purpose of catching up and travelling together in the first case, Robin and I arrived at Antwerp station in time to get the 9am train! The train itself was packed and after eventually finding a seat, we were quietly relieved when the carriage began to thin out at the next stop. We unpacked our lunch and settled down to enjoy the ride. Well we planned to until the last person in the carriage kindly informed us that we needed to change trains at that station. Doh!! And so, juggling our things and racing up the platform, we eventually got onto the next rain, just as it was about to take off. All we could do was laugh at ourselves and finally relax.
The driving rain on arrival to Amsterdam meant any chance of walking to the hostel was out. After successfully negotiating the public transport system (known as the “silent killers”) we arrived at our very clean hostel, high 5’s all around for finally making to Amsterdam. We then sat down to form a vague plan of attack.
Amsterdam, famous for coffee shops (that sell more than coffee), museums, bikes and canals quickly revealed another asset…shoe stores!! It seemed that every second shop was a shoe store, and as Robin searched for a pair of boots, it certainly felt like we went into everyone!! Thankfully, due to the overwhelming number of shoe stores, Robin was not short and choice and eventually found a pair she liked.
Our initial plan of hiring bikes and doing the full Dutch thing was hampered by the weather. All we could do for the first couple of days was seek refuge inside shops and museums. All commuting we ended up doing was on foot and it quickly became apparent that transport rules were similar to paper, rock and scissors. Car beat bikes, bikes beat pedestrians and pedestrians beat cars. The only other rule was that trams beat everything! Ten tonnes of metal tends to beat most things in that respect, however the problem with the trams is that they are so quiet and hence very dangerous. In fact they want to make them even more quiet!! Clearly the Dutch have found an answer to their population problems.
Never an attentive student in art history classes during school had left me somewhat deficient in the intricacies of art appreciation, a fact I have been trying to change. Consequently, the hours spent wandering the amazing Van Gogh museum were thoroughly enjoyable. With the large variety of art displayed, and clear explanations of style and technique, it was simple to fill some of those holes in my art history knowledge. Oh my god, I can understand some art!!
Unfortunately the architecture museum was closed. After looking at the architecture of the building in which it is suggested that the museum might have actually been fairly crap! The photography museum, however, was awesome, even if I some of the artistic photography was a little bit too weird. The archival footage reaffirmed techniques I’ve been practising whilst away and therefore just as much a learning experience as a time to enjoy yet another museum.
Our one night out led us to the Grass-hopper, a large bar with only female bar staff. The place felt like you were stepping into the film Coyote Ugly from the way the staff looked and behaved. The music was crap however however the slow amble home meant a good night had by all.
No trip to Amsterdam is complete without a stroll through the red-light district. Prostitution is legal in the Netherlands. They have their own unions and pay taxes. Under strong red, neon lights, the girls, clad in virtually nothing, stand in windows trying to tempt any of the passers-by for a quick 15 min, €50 suck and f#$k. while we saw a few people taking up the kind offers, it was hard to imagine how a girl sitting in bra and nickers, eating a roll could be at all enticing. Despite it being the oldest profession in the world (although I don’t know how they figured that) there were far better things to spend €50 on in Amsterdam.
Eventually, following the planned exit strategy we left Amsterdam early in the morning for Berlin after a great couple of days there.

Tips for young players:
if you have other places in the Netherlands you want to see, go their first before arriving in Amsterdam.

Antwerp - don't bother

Antwerp, near Belgium-Netherlands border is famous for diamonds and partying.
Special notes on surviving Antwerp:
1. do not jay walk or rely on cars stopping at zebra crossings since they don’t stop, ever!
2. Antwerpians are known as being the most arrogant people in Belgium.

Having survived jay walking in all other cities, we nonetheless took the necessary precautions to safely crossing the streets. As for the people, they were arrogant bastards, based on the belief that they live in the best city in Europe, if not the world. Clearly these people need to get out more.
The city itself was nothing really special. Some nice architecture, a crappy under-developed river region and a skyline dominated by a large gothic spire. Otherwise that was it! Perhaps, had we been there on a weekend, clubbing may have been a more attractive option , however the need to get the 10am train to Amsterdam meant an early night for us both.
One interesting fact about Belgium is that graffiti is legal. We managed to find a park area decorated with a variety of good graffiti, complete with a dread-locked local smoking a joint in the corner. Aside from that and a church richly adorned with the works of Rubens there really was no need to have stopped here.
Unfortunately, as we settled to sleep, the blaring 80’s music from the guy in the next bunk meant sleep was not to be as restful as expected.

Bruges - a rare gem

Described in said guidebook as “Touristy, overcrowded and a tad fake”, Robin and I arrived determined to find out for ourselves what this place was all about. The “useful” bus transfer information between the station and hostel provided no information regarding the stop we needed. After we got off the bus and walked the rest of the way to the hostel, we were not at all surprised to note that there was a bus stop directly out the front of the hostel. THAT INFORMATION IS IMPORTANT IN A GUIDEBOOK!! CRITICAL IN FACT AS MOST PEOPLE USING THAT INFORMATION ARE MORE THAN LIKELY TO BE CARRYING ALL OF THEIR STUFF WITH THEM!!!!!!
Right, where was I? The quirky hostel welcomed us warmly and we ascended the stairs to the room. Ah….the stairs. The staircase was a small, spiral staircase and after reaching the top (only accessible by leaning forward as you walked so your bag wouldn’t get stuck) neither cherished the thought of going down them the following day with our bags, particularly with the dodgy 6th step. Despite the risk to life and limb provided by the stairs, we were buoyed by the fact that our fire escape was easily accessible.



Correct me if I am wrong but in a fire, don’t they tell you to avoid electrical things since they tend NOT TO WORK.
After leaving the confines of our fire trap, I mean hostel, to wander the cobble-stoned streets of Bruges it quickly became apparent that Bruges was a gem. With canals separating some of the streets and a noticeable lack of rubbish, it was difficult to imagine why the guidebook gave it such a bad wrap.
The old market square was the same set up as Brussels, although without the marathon stage. Settled on top of a large box was a DJ pumping out some decent techno tracks to the square….random!



The narrow streets led us eventually to the monastery. After multiple attempts to find the bridge leading to the front door, we finally realised that there was only one way to get to it and that it was on the other side of the canal. Finally, whilst standing on the elusive bridge, excitement rose as the main gate started to open. Expectations of seeing some nuns in traditional outfits were clearly too high as a man and woman, both smoking, stepped out of the gates. Clearly their applications to join the nunnery were denied!!
On weary legs, we eventually returned to the hostel, hoping that our night’s sleep would not be disturbed by the need to rely on a functioning electrical system in case of a fire.

Luxembourg to Brussels

After waking up, checking for new wrinkles and profiting from a generous buffet breakfast, by preparing lunch as well, it was off north to Belgium and the capital Brussels.

Tips for young players:
1. book hostel via guide book;
2. take map from said guidebook;
3. arrive in Brussel central station;
4. find hostel!!!!!!!!!!!

This becomes exponentially more frustrating when carrying your entire house on your back for each and every intersection!!!
After meeting up with two Scottish boys from the last hostel we set off trying to find our hostel….and tried and tried. In fact all we managed to find was a gay bar and ourselves very, very lost….Damn, forgot my latex!!



After we eventually found the hostel, dumped our bags and went searching for the two most famous things about Belgium:
1. beer; &
2. chocolate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Of chocolate there was no lack of choice. Mind you, neither was there any lack of choice for beer either.



As suggested, we made our way towards the Market Square. If you get to Brussels, you definitely should start there. It’s very easy to find: head towards the largest spire in town and when you need to pick your jaw from the pavement, you’re there!
The largest building in the square is the Hotel de Ville (town hall). It was the only building to survive a sustained cannon barrage (by the French I believe) which was funny since the only thing that they were actually aiming at!! The building is a massive gothic structure with an immense spire that dominates the entire city. However, no less impressive , are the other buildings which make up the rest of the square. Accompanying the Hotel de Ville are buildings representing the various guilds.
As usual, there was something obstructing the complete picture, in this case what looked to be stages set up for the finish line of a marathon. As we wandered through the old town it was hard not to notice the litter everywhere. This place was fairly filthy. After eventually stumbling across the Royal Palace, we resolved to return the following day to have a look inside.
Finally, with our stomach acid self-digesting the insides of our stomaches, we made our way out in search of food. There are literally hundreds of restaurants in the old town and despite the competition between places, the plates were reasonably sized and the prices cheap. Eventually, however, we decided on Vietnamese and ended up in the Western part of the city in a less touristy area. Once settled, we then started at the top of the list and began with a Kreik™. This beer was a surprise. It was red and tasted more like a cherry beer but went down well with the food. After the Duvel™ that followed we were well into the Brussel’s experience.
Randomly, we ran into a friend from Paris and so met up with her after dinner for after dinner drinks. One of the best beers was called Kwak™ and part of the novelty was that you drank the beer from a test-tube like glass that rested in a wooden holder. In fact, you had to pick up the both in order to drink it.
After breakfast the following morning, where “Soup-Nazi” ensured nothing extra left the breakfast room, we raced back towards the palace via the famous “Manneken Pis” (a fountain of a boy pissing). When warned that the Mona Lisa was small, I was pleasantly surprised at actually how big it was. Therefore, when warned that the pissing boy was small, I expected…….well I didn’t think it would be that small!! Located next door was a chocolate shop, complete with a cut out where you could pose as the boy…including a place for your left hand!!



After wandering through the Royal Palace, in awe after each room only to be smacked with the stupid stick when we entered the Ballroom. Finally we left but not before appreciating one of the more bizarre sculptures ever. Three ceiling roses and a full sized chandelier covered in Thai Jewel beetles, 1.4 million of them in total. Not even a photo (not that we were allowed to take photos) could capture the eerie feel of walking under the chandelier covered with beetles. It felt like, at any moment, the bugs were going to come alive and descend on us.
After negotiating ourselves back to the old town, slipping between runners in the marathon, we sat, enjoyed a coffee and clapped the runners as they hit the last turn before home. Eventually we grabbed our stuff and head off towards the station for our next destination, Bruge.
Tips for young players:
Whilst in Belgium, realise that church bells etc bare absolutely no correlation to the time. If you hear bells, the only thing you can be sure is that it is NOT on the hour, quarter past or to, or even half past. The result seemed to be a continuing melange of bells, going off at random times.

Paris to Luxembourg:

After meeting the Thurman it was straight back on the road again…..via Gecko bar and their bubbly Mojito’s…a mojito made with champagne but actually a great mix. Given the bank holiday in the UK our initial B-line to Amsterdam was postponed and we headed for Luxembourg. Leading up to going a friend of Rod’s described it as being “green”…and it was.
Luxembourg is a belle ville located in the shadow of the surrounding mountains. Within the midst was the old town which was in many ways ironic, a point I will get to. Trees were everywhere and the light rainfall gave the place a wonderful old-school feel. (at least the bloody rain was good for something!!).
After checking into our ultra-modern and fairly new hostel, we dumped our bags. Upon arrival to our room, we were assaulted with the smell of tinned tuna.

Tips for young players:

Tinned tuna is like a dim sim. I may taste good but it smells worse than shit to everyone else around you not eating the same!!!!!

Next it was off to explore the city, meet some locals and get “Luxembourged”. As we wandered the cobble-stoned streets of the town, admiring the view from the many vantage points, we quickly noticed that, for 2 pm Friday, there were not a lot of locals..only tourists. Given that it was not a public holiday and not Paris than where the bloody hell where they? As we entered a quaint restaurant we realised same important things:
1. there are no young people in Luxembourg;
2. all of the remaining locals must be in bed; because
3. the average age of people who live in Luxembourg is >65 y.o.

so, this was where people go to die when they live in Europe!!
As the couples sat, dressed in the “old person” attire (i.e. old suits, ties, coats and hats with women dressed in old scarfs and dresses), drinking their beer and white wine we felt ourselves aging quicker than time thought normal. After a very reasonably priced, and certainly hearty, meal we left to almost get mown down by a dear old lass and her 4 wheeled frame….say no more really.

Nonetheless a beautiful city and one of three small countries down!!!!

T n T and Switzerland:

After revelling in free, high-speed, internet on the train to Copenhagen from Stockholm, and a successful transfer to an overnight train I arrived back in Paris. The return to Paris for one reason only: Tex Perkins (Cruel Sea) and Tim Rodgers (You am I) playing at the Australian Embassy bar for €10. the boys were on a European tour promoting their collaborative album and took the time to play to some Aussies starved of some good old Aussie music.
As the evening approached, Rod and I got increasingly excited as we travelled on the metro towards the embassy, enjoying a slightly strong vodka and Red Bull™ on the way. (NB: Red Bull™ has not actually been approved for sale in France but there are always shop-keepers prepared to deal in the illegal trade of banned soft-drinks?!?) We arrived at the Embassy bar, called Matilda’s, to be welcomed back to Australian land and presented with a grand selection of beer: Cooper’s Red, Toohey’s New, Crownies and VB. (No Fosters sold on Australian land mate!!)
The concert was awesome. Tucked into the small bar, the acoustic tunes flowed as did the beers. The relaxed nature of the boys on stage, clearly enjoying just having a bit of a joke with a bunch of Aussies, and the overall vibe of the event meant the couple of hours they played for went by really quickly. As it turned out, our night didn’t end there! Through a mutual friend of mine and Rod’s, we met Tex’s girlfriend, Mel, and instantly got on like a house on fire. There no hesitation when the two of them invited a couple of us back for a few more drinks at Tex’s hotel room!! Tex was an absolute legend. He was just a top, down to earth bloke who enjoyed crapping on about everything as much as the rest of us. In the wee hours of the morning we left to stagger home, feeling like kings…..we’d just partied with Tex Perkins!!!!!!!
Next was off to Zürich. I had previously spent an afternoon there and was looking forward to spending some time there. Zürich is often described as the true heart of Switzerland for its stunning buildings and diverse culture. The city is a cohesive melange of old and new, chilled and chic, cheap and ridiculously expensive. Zürich sits on the shores of a large lake which bares the same name. A 4 hour round trip boat ride on the lake provided the opportunity to have a squiz at the other small villages with dotted the lake, all to the background of the amazing Swiss Alps.
Unfortunately the weather was not conforming to the accepted norm (between a standard variation of +/- 2 with a P-value <0.05) for what one would consider SUMMER!! While not exactly snowing, the regular intervals of driving rain forced me to accept the fact that at some stage in my journey, waterproof clothing would be necessary! Hence, I finally bought an umbrella. In truth, I actually forgot to pack any form of waterproof clothing with me.
After enjoying all that the city had to offer, my last day was spent feeling like the centre of attention. I caught up with Volker, who’d happened to be in Singen the night before, Marcel who drove down from Olten 45 minutes away and finally Marion and Nakissa, two girls from Stockholm. Cruising around a few of the local little bars was all we could do to keep out of the rain that continued to fall…at least that is our excuse and we’re sticking to it!!
Next was off to Luzern, 50 minutes by train from Zürich. Although not a big city in itself it makes a great place to make a base from which to explore the Alps. Unfortunately I didn’t have time to do that and instead spent my only day cruising around the city. The town itself is split into two by the river Reuss and over this river spans a number of foot-bridges, including two wooden enclosed ones. Inside these wooden bridges, on the wooden arches, were details paintings depicting the history of the area and parts of the Switzerland’s Royal history. Unfortunately the story was incomplete as part of one of the bridges was badly damaged by fire in 1997.
One of the funniest things I’ve seen for a while was the “Labyrinth of Mirrors” located at the Geo-archaeological museum. This museum was a “living” exhibition with detailed explanations regarding the fact that Luzern was once a tropical area complete with palms…at least it was some 1,000,000 years ago!! Anyway, what made the labyrinth so funny were the scores of children running around the mirror maze, laughing their heads off as they repeated slammed face first into mirror after mirror trying to find their way around. the network of mirrors also provided an awesome medium for some self portraits as well as the one with the young girl. (her mother was stoked and really happy when I offered to send her the photo.)





Near this museum, which was called Gletschergarten (Glacier Garden) is an amazing dying lion carved into the sheer rock face. I have absolutely no idea why it is there or what it represents but I couldn’t help but think of the Lion King™ when I saw it.



After cruising along the old city walls it was off to the funiculaire (diagonally moving train thingy) to get a view from the Schloss at the top. Unfortunately the Schloss was closed, and had been for about 14 months, as the owners were trying to sell it. Unfortunately, neither my credit nor my promised good will were enough to secure the €19 million required…..anyone want to go in?..we could each have our own floors!!!!
After the short dash into Switzerland it was time to get back to meet up with Robin Thurman, another Santa, and continuing travel.