Stockholm:

As the train travelled over the bridge into Stockholm central it was clear that I was in for a treat. The city is made up of a number of interlinked islands on the Baltic Sea. Spared the destruction of WWII the city retains a lot of its original charm and architecture.
After dropping off the bags at hostel, it was time for some walkabout. It very quickly became apparent that Sweden was expensive. Nonetheless, wandering the streets near the hostel continued to surprise as old frescoed façades blended seamlessly with newer ones. Despite some interesting advertising



on public transport the people seemed genuine, although none smiled the way the Danish did.
As for the hostel, it had it all: 6 computers with 24/24 internet access, a sauna, great rooms and a bin full of pasta to which you helped yourself. The majority of the rooms and most of the entertainment area was kept well out of the public eye in the basement but there was also a large decked area in the courtyard in front of reception.
Acknowledging the expensive nature of the city, the tourism board has these wonderful tourism cards called “Stockholm cards” which, for 1,3 or 5 days, provide free access to all museums and also all forms of public transport. Unfortunately it didn’t include the “Hop on-Hop off boat” which was a great way to see Stockholm and get orientated. The first stop was to the Viking museum to see a full sized Viking ship.
In earlier times (can’t remember exactly when but after the invention of gun powder) the King was having a ship built. As the ship neared completion the King, in all of his ship building wisdom and expertise, decided that another deck of cannons was required. And so completion was delayed as the additional layer was added. Eventually, to great fanfare, the ship was launched. As it sailed away from the docks a freak gust of wind caught the sails and made the now top heavy ship lurch awkwardly from side to side. However the second gust of wind finished the job and knocked the ship over, causing it to sink with all hands. All of this happened with in 500 metres off the docks, in plain view of all there to celebrate the launch. Clearly Swedish Kings knew nothing about ship building! Anyway, in the 1960’s the ship was raised, intact, from the ocean floor and placed into a museum.
To be up close and personal with an original Viking ship was awe-inspiring. The ornately carved woodwork covering the entire ship oozed superiority…well at least it would have if the thing hadn’t sunk! The tungsten lighting added to the mystique of the experience, as did the reconstructed skeletal remains found on the ship.
Next to the Viking museum was the textile museum. Aside from the impressive architecture of the building itself, the actual exhibits were fairly dull and boring. In fact, the most interesting part was the section the dealt with the history behind doll’s houses. Who would have thought how historically important the simple doll’s house was….certainly not I. After a dinner of…pasta, it was time for a boozy night out with the guys and girls from the hostel. Before relaying a summary of “Snaps Bar” I will digress and explain a few things about alcohol purchasing in Sweden.
As with many places in Europe, you can buy alcohol from pretty much everywhere. As with everything else, alcohol is expensive and therefore a couple before venturing out is the way to go. However, the beer found on the shelves is only 3.5%. if you want to get full strength beer, you have to go to a state sponsored liquor store. There, you order what you want from the display cabinet, and then the staff go off and get it. Mind you, some further planning is required as the beers are warm when you get them and therefore need a good couple of hours in the freezer before being slightly palatable. The fact that they tasted fairly crap anyway did nothing for the overall enjoyment the evening.
Anyway, it was off to the metro to get to the party area of Stockholm. Thoroughly enjoying the freedom of Swedish advertising censorship,



(not really sure what this is advertising)
the group continued to swell as more and more from the hostel congregated on the platform. We arrived a place called “Snaps Bar” which was a large fenced off beer garden on the footpath/square that then became a nightclub inside as the streets were cleared at 1am. The 4 levels below ground had varied music playing including some reasonable techno. While I was cruising away, doing the Melbourne shuffle to the techno and meeting some of the locals, it seemed that others from the group were having varied levels of success:

Dean – a.k.a. “man-bag”: if you actually have a man-bag, containing your wallet, passport and camera, don’t leave it on a couch while you dance expecting it to be there when you get back?!?! (2 thumbs up to the Aussie Embassy in Stockholm who managed to replace his passport in 48 hours!);

Sam – a.k.a. “Play it again”: after being knocked back by Kiwi (offering to pick her nose was never really going to a winner) and later a Swiss, nonetheless “Played it again” and scored a German who then turned around after the deed and said “I want to be free”;

Andrea – a.k.a. “Free”: as it turned out, Play it Again wasn’t the only one she wanted to be free from.

Rob – a.k.a. “Doublé Douche”: had his body wash stolen and couldn’t shower that evening. Didn’t spoil his performance though.

Tom – a.k.a. “Snaps”: realised that Swedish girls punch as well as the boys. After being pushed out of the way by a girl he shoved her back. Her reply was a solid punch to the temple that still hurt three days later. Basically got what he deserved really.

Ignoring the local's version of "home via shopping trolley"



we all safely made it back to the hostel, each with our own story to tell!
After enjoying most of Stockholm over the next few days, including an impressive army museum, richly decorated Royal guest apartments and the wonderful cobble-stoned streets of the old town it was off home (Paris). Not before, however, venturing to the Absolute ™ Ice Bar. As the name implies it was an ice bar, complete with ice glasses, and bar of ice, walls and columns of ice, and chairs and tables of ice. Sipping on the Absolute™ cocktails, bopping along to the house music playing (partly to keep warm against the –5°C inside temperature) was a great way to spend the evening. The vibe was really positive. Everyone was excited to get in (we had to wait an hour), the bar-staff engaging and enjoying themselves, and all whilst wearing our silver thermal ponchos and gloves. Despite the €10 entry fee which included the first cocktail, it was well worth the experience.





p.s. found out what happened to Maradona after the end of the World Cup. I guess cocaine is too expensive in Sweden even for him!!

Snoring Dwarfs and a Big Smile:

Sleep was not readily forthcoming. It seemed that the other 35 beds in my dorm were exactly the same as mine – saggy and squeaky. The domino effect, caused by one guy rolling over, followed by the people in the next bunk doing the same and so forth, kept a background level of annoying and random sounds echoing throughout the room. This random cycle of rusted springs did nothing to distract from the snoring dwarf in the bunk next to mine. For what the man lost in growth hormone levels, he surely made up with nocturnal upper airway obstruction. This guy was even worse lying on his side!! A strong pair of ear plugs barely kept the noise at bay.
As I awoke (the transition period between kind of asleep and fully awake) I did not think that things were really going to change.
Question:
What do you do when tired, cranky and not really sure what you are doing in Denmark?
Answer:
Grab a free bicycle sitting outside your hostel and go for a ride.



Cool. The Danish tourism board provides about 1000 free bicycles for the inner city. You grab it, use it, then leave it. These are easily recognised by their spokeless wheels and cheesy advertising. When you find one, you insert 20 crowns, ride it as much as you want within the boundary indicated on the map provided on the handlebars and then relock it when you are finished and take back your 20 crowns. Be warned, they are not luxurious. There are no gears, an adjustable seat is a luxury and brakes are the old school type that work by pedalling backwards. Nonetheless they are free and a great way to see Copenhagen.
Town planning in Copenhagen began with bike lanes and then they added the rest. The city is amazingly bike friendly. There are direction specific bike lanes everywhere, complete with lines, traffic lights (all three colours!!), bike parking and even tyre pump stations!!
As I cruised the street on my bike, smiling for doing something different for a change, I began to notice something very important about Copenhagen: the locals were smiling too. Everywhere I looked, I noticed people smiling; on bikes, on foot, in shops and even the bus drivers!! This infectious aura quickly erased all hesitancy regarding the place. Once this happened, all of this amazing architecture and friendly culture emerged. It was almost like “No tourism enjoyment for you until you smile young man!!!!” and smiling I was!
Breaking with tradition, I went onto a guided tour of the Royal palace. After doing a quick jig on the Royal red carpet in my bare feet it was off to see how Mary was doing. Well, she married well that’s for sure. The richly decorated rooms (although no couches) certainly gave a feel of how the other half live. The previous two palaces (technically not a Royal residence therefore explaining the lack of couches) were burnt down and so only the Queen may smoke inside. Despite this, many of the frescos and paintings are from the original palace, having been rescued before the flames could damage them. This now a fully organised plan for ransacking the palace should there ever be a third fire. Hopefully third time is a charm.
After breaking with one tradition by taking a tour, I dispensed with another and got onto a guided canal tour. In hindsight, it was well worth the stretch since the perspective from the water is totally different from that of the land. We passed the Royal yacht which was more like a Royal Ship than a yacht.
Finally, after a boot load more sight-seeing, bike riding, a big night out with some locals and a stronger defence system against snoring dwarfs, it was time to leave Copenhagen for Sweden. I certainly left there a lot happier than when I arrived.

As promised the Royal Family!?!?!?

denmark and the royal family

After extending Paris to finish my first web story board (who knew the broad range of features with Power Point™?!?) and farther walking the path the Dark Side away from Santahood, it was off Copenhagen, the capital of Denmark and the base of our newest exports: Made-to-order-Princesses. The first leg was an overnighter from Paris to Hamburg. Unfortunately no where near as comfortable than the first overnighter I’d taken, thanks to beds that were even too short for me!!
The journey was a lot of clackity-clack-clackity-clack and dark skies. The only grace was retrieving the day I’d lost at the start of my Eurail when the stamp was unexpectedly started. Basically, as my train and further connections occurred over the period of 00:00 I would be required to use 2 days of the pass. Thanks to some light banter with the conductor, it was sufficient to just stamp the following day of travel only!!
The next leg, Hamburg to Copenhagen was something special. The scenery remained the same. That is until the cleared fields and occasional farm house scenery changed to the inside of a ship!! This was no James Bond train, getting mysteriously captured by a ship whilst at sea, this was the real deal. After the entire train was nestled in the bowels of the ferry, we disembarked and enjoyed the 45 minute cruise from German soil to Danish. Stocked with duty-free stores, restaurants and bars, the boat made a welcome distraction from the normal monotomy of train travel. When we finally left the ferry and travelled on Danish soil, one couldn’t help but notice that the overhead racks seemed to be stuffed with duty-free cigarettes and alcohol.
Upon arriving in Denmark, I arrived at the hostel to be given a choice between rooms..a 36 bed dorm or the cheaper 72 bed dorm. This wealth of choice and the fact that I’d seemed to walk through a less savoury area of Denmark led me to think “what the f*#k am I doing in Copenhagen?” Having dumped my stuff onto my bed, which promptly sank and hit the floor, I ventured out wondering if three nights was going to be a long time.
First point of call was to see if I could find some better accommodation. The obvious choice was to pop over and see if Mary and Frederick had some space on a royal couch. Unfortunately it seemed that she was not taking visitors…..not even Australian ones! It was very peculiar. As I searched for the best means by which to have a yarn with Mary, I became slowly aware that they, being the Danes, seemed to take the whole “Royal” thing a little more seriously than us from the other side of the Equator.
“excuse me, could you tell me where Mary and Freddy live?” was more than not met with paned and paled expressions. “you..you…you don’t mean Crown Princess Mary?” was the usual stammered reply.
As a point in fact, the Danish Monarchy is a “Constitutional Monarchy” and therefore does sweet FA when it comes to the overall running of the country. Not that this matters when you’ve got a few palaces, a large boat and a country of loyal servants!! It is still tradition that if you make it to knock on the Royal front door, one of the family members is obligated to make time to receive you. Given the recent lack of understanding with regards to cartoon humour the idea of myself sprinting away, from the legions of guards around the palaces, towards a royal front door screaming “Mary, Mary it’s me, Matt from Australia” seem impossible. In fact, I expect more to have gotten myself shot before I could even say I was an Aussie. I did manage one sly photo of the Royal Family as they went off for a swim. I’m not entirely sure who they were but it was at the palace so they had to be royal.....problem with blog program, will post photo latter.
As I retired to bed that evening a combination of disappointment (the royal couch, first impressions of the town) and frustration at the number of tourists and tour groups blocking the paths ( I know I am a traveller though, not a tourist?!? Important distinction!) left me wondering if I was going to stay for the full time.